


Baby Shoes

by lakesandquarries



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: (it's benrey and he's a kid in this so be warned), (just they/them for now but he/him will come later), Angst, Autistic Benrey (Half-Life), Child Abuse, He/Him and They/Them Pronouns for Benrey (Half-Life), Hurt/Comfort, Temporary Character Death, Unethical Experimentation, if you've been following me for a while u may remember dm. this is basically dm....2!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:22:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27676691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lakesandquarries/pseuds/lakesandquarries
Summary: Bubby has been a doctor at Black Mesa for 20 years, living there for 50. He's been bouncing around from project to project, working on whatever needs most help. He doesn't have any opinions on his work or his coworkers or anything like that, preferring to keep to himself.Then he meets Black Mesa's newest project.AKA: Bubby is Benrey's dad au.
Relationships: Benrey & Bubby (Half-Life)
Comments: 59
Kudos: 177





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY SO I PUT THIS IN THE TAGS BUT HUGE WARNING FOR FOR ON SCREEN HARM TO A MINOR.
> 
> the temporary character death is benrey and he's about seven in this fic. if you wanna skip the scene it's right after “I had no idea about any loose subjects.” near the end. (I'm summarize it in the end notes).
> 
> this au is going to cover some dark subject matter but my goal is to have a balance of hurt and comfort.

He’s never been down this hall before, not in 20 years of working at Black Mesa or the 30 years living here before that. The biological research labs were always off limits, the risk of him running into a prototype too high for anyone’s comfort.

But the prototypes are all gone now, finally. Bubby doesn’t understand why they kept them around for so long, but apparently they were all killed, or died, or whatever. He hadn’t paid much attention to what the scientist was telling him, more focused on the idea of an entire new wing being available to him.

It’s - well. It’s Black Mesa. Regardless of the department, everything looks about the same. Grey walls, grey ceilings, grey floors. Generic looking people in lab coats with various stains and tears walking around. They seem a little more frazzled here than in the robotics department, where he’s currently stationed, but it’s not surprising that living specimens might be a bit more stressful to deal with.

No one questions him as he wanders through the halls, quickly getting lost in the maze of identical corridors. There’s all sorts of containers with all sorts of creatures, and the sight is not a pleasant one. A few are even kept in tubes much too similar to his own for his comfort, and he hurries away from them quickly.

There’s so much. One cage contains a creature that looks like a mix between a raccoon and a giant orange cat. A glass box holds small creatures resembling butterflies with scorpion-like tails ready to strike. In another corner is a tank with some kind of glowing fish. 

Perhaps it’s a good thing he’s never been assigned to this area.

He passes a small cage that looks completely empty, the bars in the back distended, and it’s not until he sees a dark shape scuttle down the hall that he realizes something has escaped.

Bubby’s not sure why he follows after it, rather than finding someone and letting them know. Perhaps it’s his memory of his own escape attempts, or some kind of reckless bravery. Regardless, he chases after it, speeding down the hall. There’s a closet at the end, the door slightly ajar. He makes his way over and swings the door open without a second thought.. “Hello?” he calls, flipping on the light. It’s full of cleaning supplies, shelves on the verge of collapse, and a shape hiding behind the mop bucket.

The shape doesn’t seem to be able to settle on what it is, a dark mass that keeps shifting as Bubby crouches down. It solidifies as he watches it, deciding on a vaguely humanoid shape, with pale desaturated skin and black hair covering its face. It’s dressed in a hospital gown, covered in dark oily stains. When it brushes its hair back it reveals large yellow eyes and some kind of dark smudge covering the upper half of its face.

“I’m not going back, you can’t make me,” it says, baring its teeth, tiny fists balled up, and Bubby blinks.

“I - I’m not here to take you back,” he says. “I don’t even work here. To be perfectly honest, I’m not even supposed to be in this area.”

The creature tilts its head, curling in on itself. Its teeth are still barred, but it’s hard to feel threatened. 

“I wouldn’t even know where to take you.” He thinks back to his own tube, the few times in his childhood that he’d been allowed to leave, and shudders. “You - I take it you’re one of the, er, experiments here?”

The creature - the child? - nods. Bubby crouches down, pulling back the sleeve of his lab coat, revealing the marking on the inside of his wrist. There’s text reading 88U and a barcode in black ink. The child’s eyes go wide as they look up at Bubby. “You - you’re not -” They reach out and gently touch Bubby’s wrist before pulling their hand away again. “Not a doctor? You - you’re like me?” Holding out their wrist, the code 'XEN-3' with a similar barcode was stamped on their flesh. The raised text and fresh ink confirming the branding was still new. Bubby's chest clenches at the sight.

“A bit, yes. I’m not required to stay in my tube anymore, though.”

“They let you out?”

Bubby nods. “I’m an employee here now. Have my own dorm room and everything.” He’s also technically still Black Mesa property, but it's good to give the child a bit of hope. “My name is Bubby. And yours is...?”

The child hunches their shoulders, looking to the side. “I - I don’t have one.”

“Well, that won’t do. Would - may I give you a name?”

They look up at him again, humming a sharp, high note, and some strange peach and blue bubbles fall out of their mouth. Bubby reaches forward, touching one with his finger, and it dissolves into a cloud of mist. A feeling of - gratitude? Yes, gratitude, and excitement, and  _ joy _ washes over him.

“Sorry!” the child squeaks, covering their mouth with their hands. “I - I didn’t mean to -”

“Is that...is this how you express yourself?” Bubby asks, watching the other bubbles fade. The child nods.

“They called it the, uh, Black Mesa Sweet Voice.”

“Interesting name.”

“I didn’t - I didn’t mean to do it, I’m sorry, I -”

Bubby reaches a slow, tentative hand forward. When the child doesn’t recoil, he places it on their head, patting gently. “It’s quite alright. Nothing wrong with it. Now, we were talking about a name?”

The child raises their head to butt against Bubby’s hand, so he continues to pat them as he thinks. Xen, obviously, is not a name. There was a scientist named Ben though, wasn’t there? Benjamin something or other. It’s not a bad name, but it’s a bit plain for the child in front of him. Benny could work - but it feels a bit too close to Bubby’s own name, following the same basic formula. He needs another letter to differentiate it.

“Benrey,” he says out loud.

The child makes a trilling noise. “Benrey?”

“As a name. Do you like it?”

“Benrey,” they repeat. “Beeenreeey. Benrey.” Their face splits into a smile, revealing far too many sharp teeth. “Benrey!”

“I’ll take that as a yes, then.”

“That’s me,” Benrey says, tapping their hand on the ground. “I’m Benrey!”

“It’s nice to meet you, Benrey,” Bubby says, smiling back at them. They launch themself forward, barreling into Bubby’s chest in some approximation of a hug. 

“Thank you,” they mumble, and he can only assume there’s more of the Sweet Voice because that same wave of delighted gratitude washes over him.

It’s at that moment that someone steps up from behind, shoes clicking on the ground. Benrey pulls away before Bubby can blink, shifting back into nothing but a mass of shadow. They slip back into their previous hiding spot. Bubby turns to see an older woman, brown hair pulled into a tight bun and a myriad of red stains covering her lab coat.

“You,” she says sharply.

“Me?” Bubby asks, touching a finger to his chest.

“Yes,  _ you. _ We’ve been looking all over for you! There’s a highly dangerous subject on the loose, we can’t risk it injuring you. What are you doing in here?”

Are they talking about Benrey? The tiny little child? “I’m just exploring,” Bubby says, standing up and brushing his lab coat off. “I had no idea about any loose subjects.”

The woman squints at him, and then her head darts to the side. She pulls out a gun from her holster. “Get out of the way,” she says, shoving him to the side and completely knocking him over, and shoots before Bubby can react. The gun shot is loud, but the pained noise that Benrey makes feels even louder. He scrambles to get up, biting back on a scream, but the woman has already grabbed Benrey by the back of the neck. They’ve taken that humanoid shape again, only now there’s a gunshot wound in the middle of their chest. Benrey blinks at him, once, and then their eyes fall shut and their head droops forward. 

“I - Did you just  _ kill them?! _ ” His hands tense, holding back the urge to reach forward and strangle this woman. “They - it looked like a  _ child. _ ”

The woman huffs. “It’s only temporary. It always comes back, it’ll be fine.”

“Why - why not just use tranquilizers? This seems...unnecessary.” It’s cruel, is what it is. Bubby can’t stop staring at Benrey’s limp form.

“Tranqs don’t work. Gun’s easier.” She sighs, stepping past Bubby and holding the door open for him. “You should head back to Robotics.”

“I - I suppose.” Is this what shock feels like? His head is spinning and his legs feel unsteady. 

“Don’t wander around here like that again. This could’ve gone a lot worse.” She finally holsters her gun, keeping an eye on Bubby as she does so. The wound in Benrey’s chest is seeping blood, thick and dark. 

“Yes. Okay.” He squeezes past her, reaching out to give Benrey one last pat on the head, and leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> scene summary: female scientist shoots benrey to incapacitate/kill him, stating tranquilizers don't work and it's easier and that benrey will be fine.(spoiler he is). bubby heads back to robotics department.
> 
> anyway actual notes time!!!!
> 
> this is a whole au i've been working on for like a week and i am SO excited to share it. i've got a lot planned and like 7k written already! i'm posting this chapter today as a birthday present to myself b/c i'm turning 24 today (: i hope you enjoy reading it!
> 
> title from "baby shoes" by bad books.
> 
> find me on tumblr at lakesandquarries!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bubby can't stop thinking about the child he met in Biological Research.

He stays away from the Biological Research department for three whole days before curiosity gets the best of him. Work is the only thing that’s a suitable distraction, and his current work is frustratingly easy. He’s supposed to be moved around departments, placed on whatever project is most difficult, but currently he’s just helping design a new line of robotic limbs. It’s almost an insult, frankly.

He tests the springs on the arm one last time, determines that there’s nothing more he can do today, and leaves.

The trip to Biological Research is a short one, but once he’s there he’s reminded of how confusing it is. The scientists seem less frazzled today, at least. He winds up in a hall filled with desks, some kind of office space perhaps? Most of them are empty or occupied by very stressed looking scientists, but he spots one young man with blondhair sitting at a desk playing with a slinky, and makes his way over.

“Excuse me,” Bubby says, clearing his throat. The young man straightens up, accidentally launching his slinky across the room.

“Oh, shit,” he mumbles as it narrowly avoids hitting someone. 

“You might wanna pick that up before someone trips on it. Or, don’t, it’ll be good entertainment.”

The man snorts as he stands up, grabbing his slinky and dusting it off. “Maybe. Not worth risking my job if the wrong person slips.” He holds his hand out to Bubby. “Dr. Dekkard.”

Bubby shakes it warily. “Dr. Bubby.” Dekkard’s eyes widen, and his grip tightens. 

“Oh, shit! You’re the -”

“Ultimate Lifeform, yes.” He smiles at Dekkard, showing off his slightly sharper than average teeth. 

“Damn, what - what are you doing here? I was told you were working in the Robotics Department.” He releases Bubby’s hand, shoving his own into the pocket of his lab coat, the other still fiddling with the slinky. 

“I am. I get curious.”

“I dunno, most of the sh - uh, stuff here is pretty boring.”

“You can swear, Dr. Dekkard. We’re all adults here.” Probably. Dekkard has the look of someone too young to be working at Black Mesa, still innocent and excited about the possibilities of science. The spark in his eyes will be gone soon enough. “I had...an encounter here, the other day. There was a subject that escaped, apparently?”

Dekkard nods. “Yeah, XEN-3. Don’t know much about it - some kinda shapeshifting alien? It’s supposed to be really dangerous, though. Bit a scientist a while back and nearly killed the guy.” He shrugs, taking his hand out of his pocket so he can move the slinky between both hands. “I only started here a month ago, I don’t know much about it. It keeps trying to escape though, the guys in charge are pretty pissed.”

Bubby purses his lips, thinking. “Maybe they need a new perspective. A  _ better _ perspective. Who’s in charge?”

“Dr. Zeki. She’s - I think she’s free right now? I can show you where her office is.”

“Yes, please do.” Bubby straightens his lab coat. Dekkard drops the slinky on his desk before leading Bubby down one of the many identical corridors. They stop after reaching a door with a plaque attached to it.

Dr. Amelia Zeki, Head of Biological Research.

Dekkard knocks on the door. “Dr. Zeki? I’ve got someone who wants to see you.”

There’s a sigh on the other side. “Send them in.”

“Alright, well. Good luck. Uh, nice meeting you. I’ll see you around?”

“Maybe,” Bubby says. He hopes he doesn’t. He hopes Dekkard quits within the next 20 minutes and finds somewhere else to work that isn’t this shit hole.

He opens the door to Zeki’s office.

Behind the desk, looking over a stack of papers, is the same woman he saw the other day. The one who shot Benrey in front of him.  _ This  _ is the same person in charge of their well being?

“Well?” Zeki asks, looking up at him. “I assume there’s a reason you’re here, but I’m busy. I don’t have time to wait for you to say something.”

“I had a few questions. About the - the subject I encountered the other day.”

“XEN-3?” She puts the papers down. “Did it bite you or something? If so, you’re gonna need antibiotics immediately, it -”

“It didn’t hurt me,” Bubby says sharply. “I only encountered it briefly, but it seemed perfectly docile.”

“You’d better hope you don’t encounter it again, then, because I doubt you’ll get that lucky twice.”

“That’s what I came here to ask about, actually. I’m - well, the current project I’m working on is  _ far _ below my usual standard. I’m hoping to find something more...challenging.”

Zeki raises an eyebrow. “And you want to deal with the violent shapeshifting alien?”

“It’s certainly a challenge, isn’t it?”

She looks back at her papers, tapping her chin thoughtfully. “We have it pretty heavily restrained at the moment, and it  _ would _ be nice to have someone who can interact with it without getting attacked.” She pushes her chair back from the table and stands up. “I can’t believe I’m doing this. Fine. You can come see it.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet.”

How does anyone find their way around this place? The hall Zeki takes Bubby down is identical to every other god damn hallway in this shitty department. She leads him into a room with a large glass partition, separating the subject from the scientists. One-way glass, he assumes. Bubby steps forward to get a better look, and his blood goes cold.

There’s no cage like he’d seen a few days ago. This is an entirely new enclosure, a different room than before. 

It’s worse. They replaced the cage with heavy chains and shackles. The presumably cold metal clamped around Benrey's wrists, ankles, waist, with even their tiny neck being held by the restraints They’re flopped over, the chains the only thing keeping them upright, and their eyes are open but vacant.

“Are - are they  _ alive? _ ”

Zeki nods. “Thing won’t stay dead. No matter what we throw at it, it just heals itself. Total reset.”

“I -” he wants to strangle her. He thinks back to just a few days ago, Benrey clinging to his shirt, impossibly grateful for the simple gift of a name.

“It’s not sentient,” Zeki says. “It just imitates what it sees. It’s not like  _ you _ , Dr. Bubby.”

But it  _ is. _ It’s exactly like him. He remembers days spent floating listlessly in his tube, wishing for something,  _ anything  _ to happen. Even some kind of experiment, because at least then he wouldn’t be alone. Days spent slamming against the glass in a feeble attempt to break it. 

He swallows down the words he wants to say. “If they’re a shapeshifter, how are chains supposed to keep it in place?” Bubby asks, stepping away from the glass and forcing himself to look away. 

“It’s not impossible, but it’s harder. We keep the cuffs tight so it can’t expand without hurting itself, and getting smaller seems to be more difficult somehow. It’s only a temporary solution, though. We’ve been hoping to study the shapeshifting better, but it’s tricky.”

“I understand you also have an...escaping problem.”

She clenches her jaw, muscles in her neck twitching. “Only a few times.”

“Over how long?”

“Five. Five times in three months.”

“Hm.” Bubby steps forward, touching a hand to the glass, then walks a slow circle around the room. “There might be a better way to prevent it from escaping.”

Zeki sighs, rubbing her temples. “Fine. Let’s hear your idea.”

“You could always try to  _ improve _ its living situation. Give it some incentive to stay.”

She shakes her head. “Its first cage was  _ fine _ . It’s just being difficult.”

“I know you said it’s not sentient, but -”

“It’s just mimicking us. It doesn’t understand what it says, or what it does, or any of that. It’s from  _ Xen. _ All it wants to do is kill and eat, and sometimes that means a little bit of acting.”

“It must’ve chosen this form for a reason. Humans are, to put it plainly, shittily designed when it comes to killing and eating. So why not try treating it like a human?”

Zeki eyes him again, studying him as intensely as he’s seen her stare at Benrey. “You’ve got some kind of attachment to it.”

“I find it interesting. It’s more of a challenge than  _ robotic arms. _ ”

Another long moment as Zeki stares at him. “You know what? Sure. Fine. I’ll clear it with the head of Robotics, see if we can borrow you over here. I’ll give it a try. But Mr. Bubby, I do hope you remember your place here.”

“That’s  _ Doctor  _ Bubby,” he snaps, straightening up to his full height. He’s nearly a full head taller than her, yet can’t shake the feeling of being looked down on.

“Like I said. I hope you remember your place.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh fun fact i won nanowrimo with this fic and jtf. it's 36k so far and like 60% done?? it's gonna be at LEAST two parts so thats also cool. hope y'all like it b/c it's literally the only thing i am capable of thinking about now!!
> 
> on tumblr @ lakesandquarries. please talk to me.
> 
> ALSO......might fuck around and make a discord for this fic. idk. let me know what u think!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bubby gets a new assignment.

Dr. Elkern is, apparently, dead set on having Bubby continue work on the arm prototypes. But he does allow them to spend most of their time over in Biological Research, only needing to check on the arm project occasionally. 

It’s something. He spends most of his time with Dr. Zeki, who has made her dislike of him  _ quite _ clear. But she does seem to appreciate a new perspective, even if she ignores it most of the time. 

He also spends a fair amount of time with Dekkard - whose first name is apparently  _ Derek _ \- as well. He’s new, fresh out of college, the son of a friend of someone high up. He’s quite forthcoming about his complete lack of qualifications, and fully expects to be fired within the next month. 

Dekkard is...refreshing, if Bubby is being honest. He lacks the fear the others in Biological Research have of Bubby, willing to speak his mind and joke around and actually listen when Bubby speaks. Currently Dekkard’s little more than a glorified secretary, keeping track of the various projects happening in the Biological Research Department, who’s working on them, and their schedules. He also makes excellent coffee.

“You should quit,” Bubby says by way of greeting as he approaches Dekkard’s desk. Dekkard spins in his chair, smiling at him. 

“And lose all these benefits? Hm, not yet.” He slides a disposable cup over to Bubby, who sips it approvingly. It’s dark, bitter, and slightly burnt, just the way he likes it.

Bubby leans on the desk, nudging the ever-present slinky. “Do you know the agenda for today?”

“Dr. Zeki has four meetings, three of which are back to back.”

A slow smile spreads across Bubby’s face. “That’s the best news I’ve heard all week.”

“I’m gonna cover all her stuff in tin foil while she’s busy.”

“Oh, you’ve made it even better.”

“Wanna help?”

It’s tempting. But Zeki being busy means he can see Benrey, actually  _ see them _ and not just stare wistfully through one way glass.

“Another time, maybe.”

Dekkard nods. “Well. See you around, if I don’t get fired first.”

Bubby nods, tossing his empty cup into the trash. “Good luck with your project.”

He has, somehow, started figuring out his way around Biological Research. The various creatures make good landmarks. Take a left at the carnivorous bees, keep going straight when you see the ice squirrels, and the acid slimes tell you you’re going the right way. The room is blessedly empty, devoid of any scientists besides Bubby himself.

On the other side of the glass is Benrey. Bubby steps closer, placing a hand on the glass, watching them. They’ve barely moved since Bubby first saw them in this cell. The only time they have any sort of reaction is when they’re fed, which happens exactly three times a day. It’s a simple process from the scientist’s end - open door, slide in food, close door - and has given Bubby a very good view of the keypad and the code needed to open it.

He gives a quick glance into the hall before he types the code in. The door opens. 

Benrey doesn’t respond to the noise, pale yellow eyes still staring blankly at the floor in front of them. Their skin, already a strangely desaturated shade when Bubby met them before, seems nearly grey now, and the dark smudge around their eyes has darkened like a bruise.

He takes a few steps forward, shoes clacking against the floor. Benrey flinches as much as the chains will allow them to, squeezing their eyes shut tight. Bubby crouches down so he’s roughly eye level with them, a good distance away. 

“Benrey,” he whispers.

Their eyes open. Their head shoots up, looking around frantically before realizing where Bubby is. They strain against the chains, trying to move closer, making a faint whining noise when they realize they can’t.

Bubby shuffles closer, reaching a hand out, and Benrey leans into the touch. 

“Hello again,” he says softly. “I’m sorry our previous meeting got cut short, and I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to come see you again.”

Benrey makes a rumbling noise, almost - no, exactly like a purr. Bubby has never seen a cat, but he’s seen videos, heard them described, and he’s fairly certain the noise and vibrating are the same. Benrey opens their mouth, those coloured bubbles Bubby saw previously tumbling out, this time a bright yellow. Sweet Voice, Benrey had called it. He reaches out for one, feeling it dissolve in his hand with a wave of pure joy.

Happiness, then. Yellow...a happy fellow?

It astounds him how Benrey can express happiness like this while still chained up, barely able to move. 

“I’ve been reassigned,” Bubby says quietly, moving closer and running his hand through Benrey’s hair. “I work here now. Mostly. I’ve been talking to the other scientists, I’m hoping I can...improve things here, at least a bit.”

He gets the impression Benrey isn’t really listening, focused more on the feeling of Bubby’s hand in their hair. Well, that’s fine with him. He moves closer again, close enough to gather Benrey onto his lap, letting them bury their face in his shoulder.

They’re so  _ small. _

He spends a few minutes just sitting there, petting Benrey’s hair, the room silent aside from their purring. It’s the closest thing Bubby has had to peace in a very long time.

Eventually, though, he does need to speak again. Zeki may be busy for most of the day, but time is a limited resource here in Black Mesa. 

“I had a few questions for you,” Bubby says softly. He doesn’t move his hand away from Benrey’s hair. “How long have you been here?”

They tense up. “Forever.”

“Forever?”

He can feel Benrey nod against his chest. “Basically forever. I’m from somewhere else but I don’t really remember it.”

“Xen?”

Another nod. “The sky was pretty there. Lots of colours.”

Bubby’s only seen the sky in brief glimpses. He’d managed an almost-successful escape attempt once, in his teens, that had him outside in the middle of the night. The sky has been nearly black, but the moon was bright and full and the stars were one of the most incredible things he’d ever seen. 

“I think you’ll like the sky here. I won’t - I can’t promise you anything. But perhaps at some point we’ll go see it together.”

It’s a silly daydream, Bubby knows, but it’s one he’s been clinging to over the last few days. As a child he’d dreamt of escaping, going somewhere far away from Black Mesa, living as a regular human being with no tubes or tests. He still dreams of the same thing, but lately, in his daydreams, his home has an additional occupant.

He doesn’t share any of this with Benrey. It’s nothing more than a pipedream, a small fragment of hope, and it’ll do nothing to help them if he makes a promise he’s doomed to break.

“I want to try and make things easier for you here,” he says. “As I said, I can’t make any promises, but I’m going to  _ try. _ ”

Benrey nuzzles their face into his shoulder with a soft hiccuping sound. “You’re nice,” they mumble.

Bubby huffs. No one has ever called him  _ nice _ before. He’s capable of being polite, yes, but his temper is well-known amongst Black Mesa staff. His pyrokinesis and accidental habit of setting things on fire when annoyed cemented his reputation. Dekkard is about the only employee that isn’t working on a project with him willing to be around him for more than ten minutes.

Of course, Benrey’s quite different from any of the scientists.

They pull away from his shoulder suddenly, yawning. Bubby is not an expert on teeth, but he’s fairly sure there’s not supposed to be that many.

“Are you tired? Do you need to sleep?”

“I’m, uh -” they bite their lip, face scrunched up with the effort of remembering something. “I don’t need much sleep. Don’t like it.”

“I can stay here while you rest. I’ll need to leave in a bit, but I have…” he pulls his pager out of his pocket, glancing at the time. “At least a few hours. If you’d like to nap.”

“You’ll stay?”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Benrey leans forward again, resting their head on Bubby’s shoulder. “Mmm,” they mumble, more of the sweet voice slipping out, this time a pale, icy blue. When Bubby touches it he’s overwhelmed by the feeling of exhaustion.

It takes Benrey a moment to relax, but eventually they go limp, making small noises in their sleep. It’s - well. If Bubby were the type of person to describe things as  _ cute _ he would say it was absolutely adorable.

He does, however, wish he’d brought a book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Hanukkah! Today is the seventh day so I figured I'd post as a present to myself. 
> 
> AND AS FOR A PRESENT FROM SOMEONE ELSE......LOOK AT THIS FANTASTIC ART MY FRIEND RED MADE FOR YOU!!!! https://lakesandquarries.tumblr.com/post/637243263113461760/hello-this-is-the-best-thing-i-have-ever-seen THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
> 
> if u ever draw fanart or anything PLEASE let me know because fanart makes me incredibly happy and i actually plan on printing all of it out and putting it up on my walls!
> 
> thank you for reading, hope you enjoy! comments and kudos highly appreciated :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeki has a proposal.

The sound of the door opening jolts Bubby back into awareness - and Benrey too. They have another full body flinch, smacking their head against the concrete wall in their scramble.

Dr. Zeki’s heels click on the floor. “Dr. Bubby,” she says, tilting her head to the side. “This is certainly a strange place to find you.”

Benrey’s halfway off his lap already. He moves them gently so he can stand up to his full height, and their hands cling to his pant leg. “I wanted to try something new.”

“You’re attached,” Zeki says. “I should have known better than to let you on this project. It’s not  _ sentient _ , Bubby. It’s not a fun little pet. Don’t you ever wonder what happened to Dr. Tipton? I’m sure you remember him.”

He, unfortunately, does. Dr. Tipton had been assigned to Bubby long ago, and he’d been an utter  _ nightmare. _ No sense of boundaries, plus terrible hygiene.

“I recall him, yes.”

“This little  _ subject _ you’re so fond of nearly killed him. It bit him and injected some kind of venom. We had to develop an entire new antivenom, in less than two hours, just for Dr. Tipton. He’s got permanent nerve damage and lost a few fingers, but he’s alive. I can only hope I’ll be able to say the same for you.”

Bubby glances down at Benrey. They’re clinging even tighter now, claws making small holes in Bubby’s pants.

“I think I’ll be fine.”

“Well, in that case.” Her gaze shifts down to Benrey. “You were so interested in its living situation, weren’t you? I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if we have it stay with you, then.”

“I don’t, actually.” He folds his arms, leveling his gaze right at Zeki, eyes meeting hers. “You know what, I think that’s a  _ fantastic  _ idea.” 

Zeki smirks at him, unbearably smug. “We’ll have to move you to the Biological Research wing, of course. You can’t be in a regular dorm with it. I’m sure your old room is still available, tube and all.”

Bubby bites the inside of his lip. He’s hated a lot of scientists in his years at Black Mesa, but he’s never had the repeated urge to strangle someone until Dr. Zeki. “That won’t be necessary. I’m sure I can find an empty room that can suit my, and the subject’s, needs.”

There’s a buzz from Zeki’s pocket. “Well, you have until I get out of my last meeting. Good luck,  _ Dr _ . Bubby.” She gives him a final cold glare, turning on her heel and making sure to slam the door behind her.

“Bitch,” Bubby mutters. He hopes Dekkard broke her stuff while he was wrapping it in tinfoil.

There’s a high pitched noise from Benrey, and when Bubby looks down he sees dark bubbles like shadows. He’s careful not to touch them this time, not wanting a repeat of earlier. He crouches back down, eye level with Benrey again.

“Sorry about that,” he says quietly, reaching an arm out and gently placing it on Benrey’s shoulder. “I think I may have fallen asleep as well.”

“I don’t like her,” Benrey mumbles. “She’s scary.”

“I’m not especially fond of her either,” Bubby says. “But, I think this can actually work in our favor.”

“Huh?”

“She tried to scare me with that story, and she thinks she’s punishing me by inviting me to live here with you.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt him,” Benrey mumbles, hunching their shoulders. “I just - he kept touching me -”

“I’ve had my fair share of encounters with Dr. Tipton. Whatever you did, I’m sure he had it coming.”

“So you - you actually wanna -” Benrey’s eyes are wide and shiny. 

“If you’re alright with it, yes.”

Benrey nods, frantically, leaning their head against Bubby’s shoulder. They can’t quite reach to hug him, so Bubby moves closer, wrapping his arms around them. “I can’t stay for much longer, though. I need to go find us a good room. But I promise I’ll be back, alright?”

Benrey nods, bright yellow bubbles falling from their mouth. Bubby takes a moment to enjoy the wave of joy that comes with them before he forces himself to get up. “I’ll come back as soon as I can,” he says. 

Benrey’s whole being seems brighter, somehow. Less grey. Their hands tap against the ground. “Bye,” they say, as Bubby shuts the door gently behind him.

He checks Zeki’s office first. Dekkard is nowhere to be seen, but he’s clearly left his mark. Everything - the table, the computer, each individual pencil - has been painstakingly wrapped in tinfoil.

Bubby grins at the sight, taking a moment to knock a few paper weights off the desk.

He checks Dekkard’s desk next. No sign of him there, either, but his slinky is on the desk, so he can’t be too far. 

Sure enough, he’s in the next spot Bubby checks - the break room. He’s standing in front of the vending machine, looking for all the world like a professor stumped by a difficult math question.

“Dekkard!”

He turns and waves. “Oh, hey Bubby. Hey, should I get doritos, or -”

“Nevermind that! I have an important project. I need you to come with me.”

Dekkard raises an eyebrow, turning back to the machine. “Doritos it is.”

Bubby sighs. “ _ Please. _ Look, this is very time sensitive, I only have until Zeki is done with her last meeting and I’ve already wasted ten minutes looking for you.”

Dekkard reaches into the machine for his bag of chips. “I mean, I’m supposed to be on lunch, but if this is to fuck with her, then I’ll help. Let’s go.”

“I saw your work in her office,” Bubby says as they walk back to Dekkard’s desk. “And I will admit, you did an excellent job.”

Dekkard beams. “Maybe I’m not so underqualified after all.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.” 

Dekkard slips into his chair. Bubby’s too anxious to sit, instead pacing back and forth as he waits for the computer to boot up. “So, what am I helping you with?”

“Zeki made a proposal. I’m sure she intended it as a threat, but. I need a free room here in Biological Research. Something livable. No tubes or cages or any of that shit.”

Dekkard’s hands pause on the keyboard. He glances back at Bubby, who’s staring over his shoulder, leaning forward to watch. “Are you…moving in here?”

“Yes. Myself and one of the subjects, so make sure it’s big enough for two people.”

Dekkard spins in his chair. “One of the  _ subjects? _ ”

“Yes. Do you have a problem with that?” He folds his arms, standing up straight.

“I mean - pretty much every single subject here could kill you, so -”

“I used to be a subject here, if you’ll recall.” 

“Yeah, but - you’re not like them. You’re like, a person.” Dekkard sighs. “Is it the alien?”

“Their name is Benrey.”

“You  _ named it? _ ”

“We are  _ wasting time _ ,” Bubby snarls, stepping forward to grab the mouse from Dekkard’s hand. He holds it up, stretching the wire as far as it can go. 

“Hang on! Look, I’m willing to help, I just -”

“I don’t have time to argue with you! Either help me, or I will do this myself.” 

“Look, Bubby -”

“ _ Dr. _ Bubby.”

“ _ Dr. _ Bubby.” Dekkard groans, tipping his head back. “You’re the only tolerable person here, I don’t wanna help you get killed by an alien.”

“Well, luckily for you that’s not what you’re doing. Now are you going to help or not?”

“You’re really set on this, huh?”

It’s a lucky thing Bubby’s control over his pyrokinesis has grown, or Dekkard’s hair would be on fire. “Yes, I’m sure. I - they have them chained up. Like some kind of wild animal. They’re a  _ child _ , Dekkard. Zeki made the mistake of offering this, and I’m not going to give her the chance to back down.”

Dekkard’s shoulders slump as he spins back to the computer. “I’m not gonna pretend like I understand, but fine. I’ll help.” Bubby takes a step away from the computer to give him a bit of space, not wanting to hover as Dekkard logs into the horribly designed official Black Mesa website. It takes him a minute to pull up a map, but once he does, he waves Bubby back over. “Okay, so. There’s a few empty areas, it looks like. I’m gonna toss these ones immediately -” and here he points to the screen at a cluster of small rooms - “because those are next to whatever the hell it is that screams all night. XEN - uh, Benrey?” He glances up at Bubby who nods approvingly. “Right. Benrey’s over here right now, and I think there’s actually an unused room pretty close? Big one, too.” 

“Just find me something and show me it. I don’t need your entire thought process.”

“Hey, I’m the one helping you.” Dekkard’s quiet after that, though, focusing more on the screen as Bubby paces back and forth, glancing at his pager every few minutes. “Okay, come here, I’ve got a list.”

This is the time-consuming part. Dekkard shows Bubby each of the rooms, laying out the size and shape and what they’re near, and then they spend a few moments debating the pros and cons. Bubby knows they’re on a timer, but his attention is elsewhere, and he does forget to check the time. 

His pager beeps.

“Oh, mother _ fucker _ ,” he mutters. Zeki’s meeting must have ended, because she’s sent him a message.

_ Meet me in my office. _

“We need to decide right now.”

“Shit, that her?”

“No, it was the president.  _ Yes,  _ it was her!”

Dekkard sighs, scooting his chair closer. “Okay, I know it’s a weird shape, but I think this one’s best. There’s a bathroom nearby and a sink in the room, which is good. Better than the dorms, even. And you can hang up a curtain or something over here and make it like a separate room.”

He’s gesturing at a vaguely L-shaped room close to the offices and break room. Bubby has seen it before. It’s been unused for ages, gathering dust, and will probably be a pain to clean. But Dekkard does have a point, and he’s out of time.

“Fine. Sure. Yes. What’s the room number?”

“B-22.”

“B-22,” Bubby repeats. “B like Bubby. Excellent. Alright, I’m off to go ruin Zeki’s day.”

Dekkard shoots him a grin and a finger gun. “Good working with you.”

“Also, don’t get the doritos. They’re stale.”

Dekkard looks at the bag on his desk. “God damnit. Asshole.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a while, huh? i kinda crashed after finishing nanowrimo and also may have started another new au....that one's not getting posted for a while longer but it's gonna have ART. anyway! i have not forgotten abt this fic and i hope to update more frequently :) hope y'all enjoy this chapter! comments are, as always, highly appreciated <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bubby makes a friend.

Bubby had forgotten about the tinfoil until he walks into Zeki’s office. She’s ripping it off her desk, a few hairs slipping from her careful bun, and Bubby has to hide his smile behind his hand.

“Did you have something to do with this?” she demands, throwing a ball of tinfoil on the floor. 

“I’ve been with the subject all day. You can check the cameras, if you want.”

“I just might,” Zeki warns. She pulls another sheet off her chair and collapses into it. “So. Where are we moving you? The tube is all ready.”

“B-22,” Bubby says. “Near the break room. The L-shaped one.”

“The storage room?”

“It’s been years since it’s stored anything but dust.”

Zeki frowns, ripping the tinfoil off a pen. “You don’t  _ need _ to do this, you know.”

“You offered, didn’t you? A real scientist is willing to try new things.”

She grits her teeth. “I’ll get it cleared with -”

“Aren’t you the department head?”

There’s a pause. Bubby doesn’t look away from Zeki, pale blue eyes staring into green. 

“Fine,” she spits. “I’ll ask the cleaning crew to clear it out.”

Bubby smiles. “I’ll start packing my things.”

He turns on his heel, leaving Zeki to her paperwork and her tinfoil covered office.

Dekkard’s back in the breakroom, sat in the corner eating his doritos. “They are stale,” he informs Bubby as he sits down across from him.

“Zeki approved the room.”

Dekkard drops the bag. “She did?”

“ _ Very _ begrudgingly, I might add. Though I think at least some of her frustration was due to the tinfoil covering every available surface.”

Dekkard beams at him. “Today has truly been a wonderful day.”

“I’ll miss you after she kills you.” Bubby reaches across the table, grabbing one of Dekkard’s doritos. They’re stale, and he doesn’t even like chips, but he hasn’t eaten since this morning. Dekkard nudges the bag closer to Bubby, and before he realizes it, the bag is empty. “Alright, well, I have other work to get back to.”

Dekkard frowns. “I think you mean you have  _ lunch _ to get back to.”

“I don’t have time for that. I need-”

“To take a break.”

Bubby huffs. “I’m not going to let myself be lectured by someone half my age.”

“I’m not lecturing you! I’m just saying, you seem kinda stressed, and I was thinking of heading over to the cafeteria to get something more substantial. I thought maybe you’d wanna come with.”

“To the  _ cafeteria?  _ Absolutely not.”

“It’s not like there’s somewhere else we can get food,”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. Come with me.” He doesn’t wait for Dekkard, standing up and leaving, though the sound of footsteps behind him means Dekkard must be following. “You know, cooking is a kind of science.”

“Is it?”

“I’d say so.” He leads Dekkard out of the Biological Research wing, down a flight of stairs. “And I think someone high up agreed with me, once.” The area they’re in was something, once, but now it’s abandoned. The lights burst years ago, the only illumination left coming from the level above.

“Did you bring me out here to kill me?” Dekkard asks, picking his way through the room. 

“If I wanted to kill you, you’d already be dead. Here, this way.” It takes Bubby a moment to pry the door open, the hinges stiff from disuse. “I have no idea what this used to be, but. No one ever comes here.”

It was likely a lab of some sort - of course it was, that’s what Black Mesa  _ does _ \- but it was surprisingly easy to turn it into a kitchen. There’s a makeshift stove, no source of fire since Bubby can make that himself but just something to hold the flames. Scales and flasks serve as something like measuring cups, and he’s stolen various blades from around the facilities, along with any else he can get his hands on. It’s messy, but it’s serviceable. 

“I try to keep it decently stocked here, but it can be tricky to find ingredients. But I’m sure you’ll find anything we can make down here  _ leagues _ better than the garbage they serve in the cafeteria.”

“Did you  _ make this? _ ” Dekkard asks, poking at a burner. “Shit, maybe you really are the Ultimate Lifeform or whatever. This is - I’ll admit it, this is clever.”

“I’m glad  _ someone _ recognizes my genius.” He crosses the room, over to the makeshift freezer and his stolen microwave. “Do not tell anyone about this, though. I  _ will _ kill you.”

“Secret’s safe with me.” 

“I don’t have the ingredients for anything  _ too _ complicated. How do you feel about pasta? I’ve got some frozen pasta sauce I can heat up.”

Dekkard has made his way to the table. It was about to be thrown out when Bubby stole and repaired it all on his own. There’s only two chairs, but they at least are in good shape. “That sounds  _ incredible. _ ” He collapses into a chair, laying his head on the table. “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve eaten real food? Everything in the cafeteria tastes like cardboard.”

“I’m familiar,” Bubby says, getting out a pot. He lights the burner with a snap of his fingers, enjoying how Dekkard’s eyebrows raise up into his hairline.

He sits down across from Dekkard as he waits for the water to boil, drumming his fingers on the table. Dekkard keeps staring at the pot, then at Bubby.

“Is something wrong? You’re staring.”

“Have you really been here your whole life?” Dekkard asks. Bubby sighs.

“Yes.”

“You’ve never - I mean you’ve been  _ outside _ , right?”

“Once or twice.”

“Sorry, that - that’s a rude question, huh?”

“A bit, yes.” The water sounds like it’s bubbling, so Bubby takes it as an excuse to get up. Dekkard remains seated. “Is there a reason you’re asking this?”

“Just thinking about - about Benrey.”

Bubby adds the pasta to the pot, stirring it. “Ah.”

“I’m not gonna try and say I get it, exactly, but I think I’ve got an idea of what’s going on here. And I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, or anything, but -”

“I know what I’m doing, Dekkard.” He doesn’t have to turn to imagine the look on Dekkard’s face, one eyebrow raised and the other flat. “Yes, I’ll admit, I might be...attached. But I’m not an  _ idiot _ , alright? I’ve heard all the stories.”

“Zeki tell you about Dr. Tipton?”

“She was trying to scare me. I’ve had my fair share of encounters with him. Whatever Benrey did, I’m sure he deserved it.”

Dekkard’s quiet for a moment. When Bubby turns, he’s staring at the pasta, hand resting on his chin. 

“I can  _ see _ the gears in your brain trying to work,” Bubby says, turning back.

“You think they’re like you.”

“They  _ are _ like me.” He continues stirring, directing all his focus into the movements of his arm. “They didn’t even have a name. I can’t - I can do something, here. I can’t just sit by and ignore this when I can  _ do something. _ ”

No one ever did anything for him. He’d spent seventeen years in that god forsaken tube before anyone had even  _ considered _ letting him out, and it was another twelve after that before he was allowed any scrap of freedom. Even now, his autonomy is challenged constantly, by scientists half his age with a fraction of his knowledge.

Benrey doesn’t even have the luxury of being a valued experiment. Based on what Zeki’s said, Benrey’s only kept around because nothing seems to kill them, and they’re interesting to study. 

If Bubby can do something -  _ anything _ \- then he has to. 

“Hey,” Dekkard says. “Uh. I think the pot is on fire.”

“Oh, motherfucker.” Bubby shuts his eyes, taking a deep breath, willing the flames to die down. “I was...distracted.”

“Can’t help but feel like that was my fault.”

“A little.”

“...sorry.”

It’s nothing unsalvageable, at least. The noodles are a bit too soft, but that’s fine. 

He grabs the jar of sauce out of the freezer, heating it in his hands. He can feel Dekkard watching him as he scoops the noodles into bowls, pouring sauce over each serving. The air’s gone tense.

“Sorry,” Dekkard mumbles again as Bubby passes him a fork. He sighs.

“It’s fine. Nothing I haven’t heard before.”

“But that’s the problem, isn’t it? Look, I might be underqualified, but I’m not  _ stupid. _ I see how Zeki and all the other guys talk to you. I don’t wanna be like that.”

“I put this area together five years ago,” Bubby says, spinning his noodles around his fork. “You are the first person I’ve ever invited down here.”

“Is this your way of saying we’re friends?”

Bubby purses his lips. “I don’t think I’d go that far.”

Dekkard snorts. “Alright. Acquaintances.”

“Coworkers.”

“Oh, that’s harsh.”

“Shut up and eat your pasta.”

Dekkard does, for once, shut up. He eats like it’s the first meal he’s had in decades, like some kind of rabid animal, and then leans back against his chair.

“That was the best meal I’ve had since I started working here.”

“Well, if you behave, maybe there’ll be more in the future.”

“Can’t believe you’d stoop to bribes.”

It’s...nice, Bubby thinks. Sitting down here, eating and joking with someone. Maybe Dekkard was right when he called them friends.

Still won’t admit it out loud, though. He has  _ some _ dignity left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u to my friend gordon for beta reading for me even after i threatened to steal his blood <3 ilu bitch
> 
> fun side note i have a bubby appreciation side blog @ bubbyenthusiast on tumblr now. u should follow me.
> 
> sorry for no benrey this chapter but i hope u like dekkard!!! he is stupid i love him.
> 
> UHHHH thats it ig see u whenever i update next idk what a schedule is


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